not for the weak

Some of you may know that I grew up on a farm. On that farm everyone pitched in to do their part- whatever it may have consisted of in that day and age. Being the youngest of 5, yes 5 children, I lived alone with my parents the last 6 or 7 years of school. I was pretty spoiled, I'll be the first to admit that... however I still helped- I helped grind feed for the cows, bail hay, mow the '6 hour' lawn, pull weeds in the garden, fill & take loads of shelled corn to town, wash cars, paint the house, cook, butcher cows & chickens, do chores twice a day, pick rocks, put up the corn crib, drive the tractor around in the field... you know, all the farmy stuff that farm kids do. Obviously the most fun was butchering. Strange this may seem, but I just looooved getting to poke around inside that cow and check out all the organs first hand. The heart, cheeks, tongue, liver- all edible, I gently cleaned and put aside in a 5 gallon pail. The lungs cut into chunks and fed to the dog and cats, that was their favorite- warm, light, airy lungs... mmmm. (if some of you are grossed out, you may want to stop reading now) I skinned it, skinned and skinned.... this was great because after it was all off, I was able to bundle it up at the end and I got the money for it at the place that buys leather down the road-- $20. I was rich. Some faint at the sight of blood, I just hosed it off my boots along with the poop, and took a long shower. The poop got on me me from shoveling out the inside of the heavy stomach. Ick. Some places (Colombia) they eat that stomach lining. I couldn't bring myself to eat it, although I did try it, after seeing all the crap that imbeds itself into those crevases....ooooo and its so rubbery!Anyway, back to butchering.... earlier this week I was able to get back into the action. It was no cow, that's for sure- but my parents and I drove all of 8 minutes to arrive at a neighbors farm that raises chickens. We took care of 30 0f those cluckers in less than 2 hours. My sister wasn't their so someone else took care of cutting off the heads. I was the plucker. I'm a pretty good plucker I would have to say. It takes me all of 47 seconds to get every last one of the feathers off of her chicken skin. After a long day of making rhubarb-blueberry & rhubarb-strawberry jelly with my cousins, it just seemed right to come home with 25 fresh bird-fluless chickens. All fresh, all the time. Country life is good.

what's a Saturday night without a fight?

...apparently not a Saturday night in McLeod County, Minnesota. I had worked 2 separated parties on Saturday and around 10 p.m. I was told I could stop working and join the surprise party for my law graduate friend. Although I wasn't thrilled by the idea of mingling with some of the party-goers at first, I decided it was in my best interest to hang out for a little while. Free keg beer, private party, my best friend from high school, others that had truly grown up... I found myself, still with my Biscay Liquor t-shirt on and a sense of duty, during the last song of the night trying to hold back a group of girls in a bacholorette party (outside the private party) from swinging at my friend who had put on the party for her husband. She of course was being held back by others on opposite side of the dance floor. Somehow the sister and father got in the mix and all hell broke loose. Noses were bloodied, curses were bellered, people were thrown out, cops came. Welcome back someone said to me in the crowd. Thanks. Hopefully this coming weekend I will remain behind the bar for the fights and puke, there will be about 5X as many people.

Here I am with Delaney, my nephew, on his birthday 2 Saturday's before. This was a real party. People that enjoyed themselves the entire day, no fights... what a concept. It was my first day home, his 11th birthday. What a cool shirt he has! oh my gosh.. and necklace too!!!!
My Dad is in the backround in the orange, watching ever so closely so that I don't wander off again

kill the bunnies

Was I really ever gone? Things seem to be picking up right where I left them. As I drive up to my parents house on Ideal Ave, a gravel road- I slow my car down to avoid hitting cows crossing the road, pheasants, geese & goslings, skunks, cats and I have to swirve around that HUge tractor. A skunk lives at the end of our driveway and makes its way up into our yard sometimes. I put a rabbit decoy out just yesterday in our garden to try and keep the rabbits out, but luckily the neighbor tomcat that comes to empregnate our "mama kitties" is currently hunting them. My mom and I could hear them (the bunnies) talking amongst themselves this morning in our grove of trees- obviously warning each other of the predator. (if you haven't had the pleasure of hearing rabbit talk, its sort of like a high whistle/scream) Never thought rabbits would be my problem, but when I can walk out 50 feet from the house to pick lilacs and see 3 of them scurrying away... I think how I could make them for dinner. I mean, not trying to be cruel here.. but if they will start eating on my basil and rosemary, it won't be pretty for them.
As for my newest job, the Biscay Liq- its going quite well. Besides running into people everyday that I know, or should know, or that know me... it pays. And right now, thats what I'm after. I can usually avoid head-on collisions with old classmates in the grocery store or church, but at the Biscay Liq, theres just no avoiding them. However, I can be busy and move on rather quickly. 6 miles, 8 1/2 minutes and 2 or 3 songs and I can make it home- this time frame really saves me cash for filling my tank. I am looking forward to when the bands come in to play at the bar, where I will be overwhelmed with drunken, tipping customers. Not exactly looking forward to the puking part of it... that was one of the first things my boss let me know about- where the stuff was to clean up the puke. It took me by surprise, because of course when going out for the last 2 years in South America and Eastern Europe- you just don't witness that sort of thing. People don't drink to get drunk, and certainly they end long before vomiting takes over their body. McLeod County, Minnesota is quite different. I even am required to serve pregnant women alcohol, its considered discrimination if I refuse. So thats the skinnny, I will be cleaning up vomit, chatting with idiots who don't know where South America is, and giving unborn babies the chance to deform themselves while still in the womb. What a life, where have my morals gone... they must be lost in my bills.

home again

I managed to make it out of South America without being raped, killed, beaten, held at knife-point, kidnapped, or any threats to my life or to my family. Getting robbed and sick however... now thats a different story, but its all over now and I made it back to the north country.
My parents, sister, and aunt somehow made it through security at the Minneapolis airport to see me come off my plane... a bit surprising, but OH so nice. Especially after being in Venezuela for 3 days. I really thought I would enjoy my time back in Caracas... and I did enjoy seeing my friends, but my eyes were opened to how entirely corrupt that country is after seeing so many of the other well-functioning countries that lie below VZ. They sucked all my money out of me before I left the airport for the final time and I was very happy to leave. Things changed immediately as I entered the aircraft. The staff was from Atlanta. They were amazing. The service from the states is hands down the best that I've ever seen. From eating at the airport "Chile's" in Atlanta to the gas station attendants, people are out to please and I love it... fake smiles and all.
My first week back has been... well, its been fabulous. I am re-introducing myself to my youngest nephews and nieces, I mowed my parents lawn today, went to happy hour with some girls from high school, got my hair cut, and starting working to pay for gasoline. You can fill up a big truck in Caracas for $0.50 and here its about $120. Thats crap. So I started right away cleaning my neighbors house. She said she would pay me of course, but so far I've gotten paid with a painted rock. Thats also crap.
Tomorrow I start bartending at a local liquor store. The "Biscay Liq" is the most well known place in my county to drink. It's in a town, if you can call it that, of 114 people. (there were more than 114 people in my building in Buenos Aires) I'll go tomorrow to get trained, but something tells me that rum and cokes and pouring beer won't take too much. Yes, I'm back in townieville. and for as much as I defended Americans for not being as fat as everyone says..... I'm wrong. We're pigs.
Over and out from the Glencoe Library, where its free to use the internet, but you can only use it for 30 minutes. chao.

mmmmm comida... ugggghhhh comida

AYe Yiiiaye, YIIIAYEEEEE.... coming to a close, YESSSSSSSSS!
As much as I love the cachapas, empanadas, arepas, natural juices, pastries and the rest of the food in Venezuela- it is killing me. I tried so hard the first day to not touch any of the stuff. I even brushed my teeth with boughten water. Then when I saw the empanadas I must have forgotten. I went for 2, with guasacaca salsa- of course. I was a bit disappointed when they weren`t really all that steaming hot- but how did it never even enter my mind that they would be chalked FULL of bacteria and Venezuelan parasites. It took about 15 minutes for all of my digestive system to fully reject and eject all of it. Gross. Yesterday I was sure that the bread from my favorite bread store would hit the spot, safely. Riiight, am I forgetting again that they use water to make bread????? AHHHHH! Everything, ice in restaurants, rice, pasta, everything. As ridiculous as it sounds, I think McDonald`s is probably my best and safest choice of restaurants here. Luckily today is my last day to eat here and by breakfast tomorrow I will be eating airline food. (never thought I`d be excited for that!) I planned to go to the beach while I was here, in fact it was part of my years mission statement to go back to the states with a nice tan. Now, when it comes down to it, its not really that important to go and lay on the most beautiful beach in the world and soak up some rays by myself. I am enjoying getting reacquainted with my friends here and seeing the familiar places of Caracas; the fights in the street, the rain flooding the streets that have no drainage systems (in dry season), the traffic where no one really knows how to handle the rain, the hour long lines for the buses- in the rain. Perhaps a pessimistic look, but I have been sick since Sunday and it peeked last night. All I want to do is go home at this point. I have nothing left to do here. ...ok, they might be one more present I want to buy...but I`m ready. Chao Chavez, I know you`ll be sure to get more money from me before I leave the airport- but I most definately won`t be back until you are long gone from power. (this may take 40 years or more, who knows) But Thank you, thank you Venezuela for being my first love of South America, and after a year... thank you for bringing me to the realization that there are so many other fabulous countries in South America south of you.
T-shirt of yesterday: "YOUR, YOU ARE, THE BUT BIG" ¿huuhhhh?
going to search for todays best...coming soon...

my return to danger

and so I said goodbye to my favorite country of the year, my favorite person of the year and I`m back in Caracas now. wow. Even though I was here only 8 short months ago, it surprised me that things are so different here than in Argentina. They eat on the streets here. Things are SO dirty. Even though its so completely dangerous, the people (most people) are SO kind. The buses wait until they are full to leave their start spot. On the bus, there is a driver and a person next to the driver to take the money and change CDs- and the music is LOUD. It`s hot. It`s dry season, but rains nearly every day. About 1% of the population has blue eyes, half of which are fake- the other half are foreigners. About 3% of the population has blonde hair, this is always false. If you are a true blonde, you do not originate here. Mangos fall from trees everywhere in the city. Avacados are the size of a childs head. All the women think they are destined to be a beauty queen and for their 15th birthday their parents will buy them fake boobs to keep the dream alive. Even if a guy is nuzzling his girl in public, he still will be able to hiss and wink at other girls walking by. The subway is ALWAYS packed to capacity. People sitting next to you on the bus will greet you and strike up a conversation. Taxi drivers ask for your phone number. Things are more expensive, by alot.

t-shirt of the day: TO US, sweet dreams
(is that supposed to be U.S.... I hope not, chavistas.)